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Resting Places

by JACK

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1.
what the fuck did i do to make you turn away was i your best friend for only three whole days the rest of it was a slow pull with no words just the silence growing with no words i thought i had you and you, me with your hands full you can't hold a thing and the deeper strings will keep dropping until your left with all but nothing i've got shit to do and you're wasting my time i've got shit to make and i'm tired of holding my breath you say we're one, but we're two you die at one and demand two separation separation i have done it too karma karma, i bid adieu don't you feel bad with blood on your i can't stand the mess with blood on my hands the silence is deafening i stand tall like a thin tree my leaves are leaving i pull up the roots around me i have fucking value.
2.
i don’t like to be judged when i’m being myself i don’t like to be told that i’m being someone else i can’t breathe when nervous hands drop their fear on me i can’t be with nervous hands i can’t be when nervous hands drop their fear on me i can’t breathe with nervous hands and i can feel the remorse in your tone the way your shoulders rise on the phone the way you plead you need to be alone and all the hurtful words off your tongue roll it ain’t right you’re not right and i’m deeply sorry if you’re hurting now you see i left the church hobbling on my knees and they’re raw now and in need of relief the only forgiveness i see is the one from me the only forgiveness i need is the one from me
3.
Harbor 04:54
i don’t know what i’ve been told by my mother who wasn’t always on time i was not shown how to let it go so i made my fists and held on tight we fed ourselves on cheap wine and frozen food my birthday wish came true if i could take it back, you know i would but i wouldn’t want to make you suffer no, i wouldn’t want to make you suffer and what if you were alive would it be the same as it was before would i hate to call you back would you come knocking on my door well i wouldn’t want to suffer no, i wouldn’t want to suffer i don’t know forgive my soul if you were here would it be all right if you were here would i be all right if you were would you be all right i don’t know
4.
when you do not love yourself you cannot love the moon you can only hope for its affection howling from your room when you hurt your body with punches and low words the love keeps on dying inside of you and inside of the world and they tell you to relax with your skin stretched by chains thumbs pressed against the bruises feeling out the pain well i’m not a sheet of paper on which you can release my body is a temple of which you cannot reach pick up that dignity you threw across the floor hold your teeth in your lap and the gums from which you tore hate never makes it better, but we feel it in our bones i’m a sister in the system from which my blood pours i’m a sister in the system and my blood pours we’re sisters in the system and our blood is pouring down i'm a sister in the system and my blood pours pick up that dignity your threw across the floor
5.
The Look 05:08
i held your mouth inside my palms i caught the upchuck of your lunch i laid a towel across your head the matrimony of our daughtered bed so i spent some time trying to be better i talked to someone i daydreamed was you now i’m reaching for the settlement for all the pain it put me through i walk alone at night i am not afraid to fight i’d be fucked if i didn’t try i am not afraid to die i tried to choke myself to stop the hurried breathing when i’m stressed out (fucked up) and i can’t feel my legs what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done or felt this is not a competition for who hurts the best what did you take from me darling what else did you hide ‘neath the kitchen floor was it the smell? was it the look? my senses could always tell

about

Jack is the solo project of Brittany Costa.

credits

released August 16, 2016

all songs written by Brittany Costa
guitar, bass, vocals by Brittany Costa
bass and harmony on Sister System by Becca Ryskalczyk
violin on Harbor by Becca Ryskalczyk
drums by Nick Dooley
recorded, mixed, & mastered by Nick Dooley in Vergennes, VT


Thank you to Steakhouse Records, Adam Kolodny my doggo savior, Greg Rutkin, DBTS, Becca, & Dooley.

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JACK Brooklyn, New York

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